I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize