maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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