what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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