Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
