she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize