i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
