All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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