ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
