I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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