i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
