i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
