This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
