She just used a chaser for red wine.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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