So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize