Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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