He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
