Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
