I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
