Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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