Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
