his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
