I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
