The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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