If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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