I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
