I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize