shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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