Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
