Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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