FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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