I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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