Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
