why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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