you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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