Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
