found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I understand Curling. That high.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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