Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
