I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
