My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize