You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
