i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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