This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
