That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Randomize
