I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
