I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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