The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
