Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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