Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
