Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
