I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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