I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
