the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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