Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize