I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
