I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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