Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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