I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
