Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize