She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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