the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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