I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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