I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
