Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
