Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
