dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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