You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
