I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
